NORWELL, MA…
In 2009, there are now more ways for couples to get together than ever before—online dating, speed dates, chat rooms, blogs, etc. Yet, with all the new ways and technologies available to help singles meet, it has also made it that much easier to break up with the person you are casually dating. And with all due respect and copyright to Seinfeld’s George Costanza, you don’t need the “it’s not you, it’s me” to get out of a relationship.
Paul A. Falzone, CEO of The Right One and Together Dating–one of the world’s largest brick-and-mortar dating services with more than 60 offices nationwide—has paired thousands of clients during more than 35 years in business. He has also seen more than his fair share of matches not go the distance as well. So, is breaking up with somebody easier now?
Said Falzone, “Yes. Though it’s really not about being easier as much as being up front with people. If you have invested time and money in a dating service or online account, you generally have a pretty good idea about what you want. If dating somebody for a short period doesn’t produce that, most people feel they owe it to themselves to end things and that makes it easier to be direct and say ‘I don’t see this going anywhere’ instead of using a lame excuse.”
Continued Falzone, “Does that mean breaking up with somebody doesn’t hurt. Not at all. Even if you look at it intellectually, it is still a form of rejection, even on a smaller level. So, even though you may have met online and agree, you still should be sensitive to the other person.”
Here are some guidelines Falzone recommends in ending things amiably:
● Stay away from “it’s not you, it’s me” and other clichés – Most people will take the “it’s not you, it’s me” as “it’s all you”. So, just do not use it. If you are not feeling the relationship is going or can go anywhere, just say that. It leaves you both with your dignity.
● Avoid e-mail and text – Sure, it is easier and safer and spares you the hurt look you might see. Do not do it. Even if you write a polite and courteous note, think about how you would feel receiving it—especially in that form.
● Do not say you will call or stay in touch if you will not – Really, all that’s left to say is it was nice meeting you (if it actually was) and best of luck. Unless you really want to remain friends.
● Remain on the high road, even after you break up – Don’t bad mouth or talk derogatively about some one you broke up with to friends, family or other people you know whose paths that person might cross. Even if it was things about his or her personality you did not like, it truly will become about you if you are trashing them after the breakup.
● Be honest but diplomatic – Being honest does not mean being unkind. Remember the old motto, if you cannot say something nice…
Said Falzone, “What you absolutely don’t want to do in any breakup situation is play the blame game. Because in actually, when you decide to breakup with somebody, it really is more about you than the other person. And that is okay to be a little selfish. It’s all part of finding the right one for you, which is a good thing.”
Help is on the way
Catering to more than 300,000 members at more than 60 locations throughout North America, The Right One and Together Dating are the largest brick and mortar dating services in the industry, offering a more consistent product, a greater number of potentially compatible mates and added value of flexibility in transferring memberships to another geographic region.
Romantic Locations
North American locations and affiliates of Together are located in: Indiana (Ft. Wayne, Carmel, Mishawaka); Kentucky (Louisville); Louisiana (Metairie); Maryland (Columbia, Frederick); Minnesota (Edina); Nevada (Reno); New Hampshire (Hooksett, Nashua, Portsmouth and Salem); Pennsylvania (Harrisburg);Ohio (Cincinnati); South Carolina (Greenville); Texas (San Antonio) and Virginia (Falls Church).
The Right One’s offices and affiliates located throughout the United States include: California (San Diego); Colorado (Glendale); Georgia (Atlanta); Illinois (Chicago, Downers Grove, Rockford and Normal); Massachusetts (Norwell, Newton Center, Shrewsbury and Woburn); Michigan (Bingham Farms); Nebraska (Omaha and Lincoln); New Jersey (Cherry Hill); Nevada (Las Vegas); New York (Manhattan); Pennsylvania (King of Prussia); Rhode Island (Warwick); Texas (Dallas and Austin); Utah (Salt Lake City); and Wisconsin (Madison, Appleton, Elm Grove).
Singles Station Dating Company, an affiliate of The Right One and Together Dating, is the largest independently owned personal introduction service in the Southwest. In the last 25 years, Singles Station has introduced more than 100,000 couples and is responsible for thousands of successful relationships and marriages. Singles Station Dating Co. has offices conveniently located in Oklahoma (Oklahoma City and Tulsa), Arkansas (Bentonville, Fort Smith and Little Rock), Tennessee (Memphis and Nashville), Missouri (Springfield and St. Louis) and will be opening soon in Kansas (Wichita and Kansas City). For more information about Singles Station, please visit www.singlesstation.com or call 866-807-LOVE(5683).
For more information about Together Dating and The Right One, please visit their websites at www.togetherdating.com and www.therightone.com, or call (800) 818-DATE (3283).
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